Shinji the Butei
by Uzumaki Gen
Summary: The whole of NERV finds out about Shinji's secret past life: Life as an armed detective or butei.


Shinji the Butei

LA BAMBINA

**Alright, since I can't seem to find one single Aria the scarlet ammo fic here, except for a few crossovers, I decided to make one myself, albeit it's still a crossover. It's a Kinji is Shinji fic. Lame plot I know, but I just can't get this out of my head.**

**I do not own any part of the elements of this fic except the title and authors note. XD!**

"Alright Rits, what the hell is this?" asked Misato as she pointed at a bed like contraption with a console beside it. "This, Misato, is a dream-machine, it shows other people the dreams a person has. It also classifies the dream if it's a memory or fiction or something the subject wants to dream." "Really?" "Yes"

"Misato, why am I here, and why is baka-Shinji, the stooges, and Hikari here?" asked Asuka. Misato explained that she decided to ask Shinji to try out the machine and he accepted. He is currently sleeping in the machine while Ritsuko is hooking the unit to a monitor.

"What, are we gonna watch some movie or something?" Touji murmured. "Only you think that stooge." Muttered Asuka. "Quiet ,Guys" Whispered Hikari.

The monitor turned on and the Magi announced: DREAM CLASSIFICATION: MEMORY, ACCESSING...ACCESSED. Then they heard Shinji's voice.

"**Do you think girls come falling from the sky?"**

'What the heck's he talking about?' everyone asked.

"**I guess it's a nice opening for a movie or manga."**

Suddenly they see Shinji riding a bike at high-speed. They marvel at Shinji's apparent skill with a bike as manoeuvred through the strangely empty streets. **"Like a prologue for something strange and special to happen"**

Soon they see the reason why Shinji was riding like crazy: an automaton with an Uzi on top seems to be chasing him. Then they see a girl jump from the top of a building, glide on a parachute, and pull twin m1911 pistols.

"**You idiot there! Hold your head down!"** she said as she shot down the automaton. 'Now that's what you call aim' Misato said. They turned their attention to the monitor when Shinji shouted **"This bike has a bomb on it! You'll be caught in the explosion!"** 'WTF! How did Shinji get a bombed bicycle!'

The girl then flipped upside down with her feet swinging by the armbands of the parachute. **"Butei Charter, Chapter 1!: Believe in your comrades and help them!, Here I go!" **She then catches Shinji and falls off the bike, which clatters down the street and explodes.

'Whoa! What the hell was that!' exclaimed Touji. 'Shut up something's going on!' Said Hikari. They see a flash of light and then see Shinji on a bed, with a gun on the side. 'Since when did Shinji have a gun! And a berretta at that!' said Kensuke.

"**I just wanted a peaceful life, without standing out, without getting close to anyone. And transfer out of this hellhole of a place immediately." "It was my only wish." **Shinji quickly walked to the door when the bell rang and opened it, and a cute girl greeted him. **"Good morning Shin-chan!"**

'We're in heaven!' the two stooges said. **"I told you to stop calling me that didn't I? I'm Ikari Shinji, not Shin-chan."** said Shinji.

"**Oh sorry, But I was thinking about you, Shin-chan. When I saw you, Shin-chan, I... Oh, I called you Shin-chan again, Sorry Shin-chan."** He just sighed. **"Come on in"**

They sat in the living room. **"So, what are you doing here?" "You see, until yesterday, at the Ise shrine on a class trip. Because of that i wasn't able to cook you anything." "You really don't have to do that." "B-but...sniff...sniff." **He face palmed.** "Okay, okay I get it." **She smiled.** "So, here"** She opened the bento box and they saw a lot of food, Touji's mouth actually watered at the sight.

After eating Shinji then said, "**Um, thanks a lot, Shirayuki." "Thank you Shin-chan for saying thanks!" "Why are you saying thanks for that?"**

He then froze up as he saw the outline of Shirayuki's bra. **"What, black, this is bad! I must not!"** He turned away and said thanks for the meal. **"Whew, safe."**

"**Shin-chan, we're both second years now, here's your bulletproof uniform."** 'What the, even NERV isn't that well-equipped.' thought Misato. **"Your berretta too, the bullets were scattered so I loaded them for you." **

"**Do I really have to bring my gun to the opening ceremony?" "Don't talk like that Shin-chan, it's in the rules that butei students must have a gun and blade with them in the campus at all times. There might be another butei-killer out there." **

"**Butei-killer, you mean that murderer, wasn't he caught already?" "But there might be a copy-cat. If something bad happened to you I...I." "Alright I'll be careful."**

Another flash appeared and they saw Shinji riding a bike, then they heard, **"There is a bomb on that bike, if you slow down or stop the bomb will explode." **He looked around and saw an automaton with an Uzi attached to it. **"What the, whose prank is this?, Shit! "** He said as he felt the packaging of a c4 under the seat. **"You cannot ask for help, the bomb will explode the moment you use your cellphone." "Damn it, will I die in a place like this?" **As he turned down the road they saw the girl that shot the automatons down earlier and see the rest as flashes.

Then they find Shinji inside an upside down roadblock. He sees the girl who saved him. **"She's cute-wha! How could the explosion throw us like this, it's unbelievable! So this girl saved me, risking her own life."**

Suddenly they hear Ritsuko say that his heartbeat is going crazy. They see him ogling the girl's chest. **"Not good, I must not not not. Waahhhhhh!"** He sees her ID. **"Kanzaki H. Aria, 65 A to B, a push-up bra? It's not much."** He breathes freely, thank god, at this rate. **"Pervert! You're the worst worst worst!"** The girl shrieked as she pounded him on the head. **"Wha"** Then the girl ducked as some more Uzis arrived and opened fire. **"So there are more." "More of what?" **Shinji asked. **"Those things, Butei-killer's toys."**

The girl then pulled her guns and returned fire. **"Hey you, Pull out your guns and help, you're a also a butei student right?" "I can't!" "Quickly, my guns alone won't do!" **Shinji then accidentally got in her cleavage while the action was going on. **"What the, a girl's chest, even its this small, they're so soft? **Misato and the others suddenly see a visual of what looks like a blood vessel pumping blood a extreme levels. Then they see the automatons retreat. Shinji said in a low tone voice. **"You've done it huh?" **The girl replied. **"They've only retreated for now, they'll be back soon enough." "You're a strong girl, just that is worthy of my praise." "Huh!" Shinji lifted her up bridal-style. "Heh" "This is your reward, princess." He then jumped to the side and set her down. "What are you doing?" "You should just sit here princess. My gun alone should be enough right?" "What the hell are you doing, are you out of your mind?" Shinji just answered. "My, oh my, Shooting in an empty place like is just a waste of bullets." **The tone was seductive enough that most of the girls except Rei blushed crimson. **"Watch out, you'll get shot!" "Better me than Aria" "What's with the sudden character change, what will you do?" "I'll protect Aria." "Wha" He then walked to the automaton which immediately fired at him. He closed his eyes as the bullets approached him, and sidestepped to the right and pulled his gun. He fired a few bursts from his berretta which hit the Uzi's inside the barrel. **'WTF! Did Shinji just shoot those bullets inside the barrels?' **He then looked the bullet holes and said. "Good aim" **"Whoa, wonder where did he learn to shoot like that?" Kensuke asked.

**Shinji walked back to the girl who said to him, "I don't owe you anything! , I could have taken those toys alone too! Really! Really! Really! Also, don't think I forgot about earlier! That sexual harassment! A crime!" while pulling on** **the stuck zipper of her skirt. "Aria, that was a sad misunderstanding, It was inevitable." Shinji answered as he took off his belt and threw it to Aria. "Inevitable you say? You tried to undress me while I was unconscious! And... you saw my breasts! This is a true full-blown crime! Just what were you planning to do? Take responsibility!" "Aria, think about it calmly. I'm a 2****nd**** year high school student. There's no way I'd hit on a much younger middle-schooler. **'Ouch'was the thought of everyone in the room. **"I'm not a middle-schooler!" Aria yelled and started muttering some incoherent words. "Sorry, were you an interning elementary student, But that's amazing Aria-chan, for an elementary student to do that... Aria-chan?" **"Ouch, betthat hit a nerve." "Way to mention the obvious Misato." Said Ritsuko.

"**I shouldn't have saved this guy!" She pulled her guns and shot at his feet. Shinji suddenly went on alert. "I'm a 2****nd**** year high-schooler!" Shinji pulled her right arm, pinned it to his side with his right hand and pushed her left arm upward as she fired a few more shots. She then suddenly holstered her black pistol and tripped his legs while using her pinned right arm as leverage and threw him off her. "So you can perform martial arts too?" "You won't get away! I've never let a criminal get away!" She said as she once again drew her pistols. "eh?" She exclaimed when saw her guns no longer had their magazines, which Shinji was tossing around on his palm while smirking at her. "WHAAA! MY MAGAZINE!" "Forgive me" "I'll never forgive you, even if you beg on your knees, I won't for give you!" She pulled two kodachis on her back and charged at Shinji. "Whoa, even katanas?" **"Won't Shinji try to evade this one or something?" asked Touji. His answer came in less than a second. **"You arrogant man, just peacefully-" She didn't get to finish her sentence when she slipped on her bullets scattered on the ground. "Sorry, but that ain't happening." "Why you" She said before slipping again. "You're running away you coward! I'll shoot you full of holes for this!"**

'**Hysteria savant syndrome, or simply Hysteria mode. I gained with my genes. The problem is that it affects what I say and do. I'd suddenly want to protect the girl in front of me at all costs, and do stuff I'll regret so much I'd rather die.' "What's with this Reward and Princess crap?" Shinji said as he walked down the hallway. He then entered a classroom. "Sorry for being late, I had some trouble on the way." "I want to sit next to him." He looked around and saw Aria pointing at him. 'What the, we're in the same class?' Shinji thought. "That's nice Shinji!" said a guy beside him. "Seems like spring came early for you, Sensei, I was chosen to be Shinji's seatmate, but I'll give it to the new student!" The teacher smiled and said, "Okay, Then Ikari-kun and Kanzaki-san are now seatmates." "Wait, Sensei." Aria went to him and said, "Here, your belt from earlier." A girl jumped up and exclaimed, "Riko gets it, Riko gets it, It's so obvious!" "Huh?" "Shii-kun doesn't have a belt, while Twintail-san returned it to him, meaning, Shii-kun did something in front of her without his belt!" **That remark got full blushes at the implication. "That was... a sound deduction" Kensuke said. **"I see, so they're lovers." Said a boy. Some guys and girls surrounded him and said, "What, with such a cute girl!" "And I thought you had no spirit!" "Weren't you uninterested in girls?" "Dirty" He just answered, "Hey, just-eiiiii!" Aria suddenly shot a few round in the room. "Love? What are you talking about? I shoot a few holes in those who say such stupid things! **

**After school Shinji went back to his apartment. "The new semester just started, and so much already happened." His phone suddenly rang and saw that Shirayuki sent him a message. "She sure loves getting mail." "Shin-chan, you worked so hard! Inquesta no longer have classes right? SSR have classes until late! I want to go home early and" He stopped reading. "Shirayuki's troublesome as well, in more ways than one." 'Looking back, it seems as though the bomb earlier was just a dream.' 'As if I'd be targeted by the butei-killer...no, the butei-killer's copycat...' 'But it's not just me, all butei are potential targets without exception. 'But, why do it with my bicycle? Could it have been personal?' 'But who'd go that far just to-' He stopped his musings when the doorbell rang repeatedly. "Oh shut it!" He opened the door. "Who the hell are you!" "You're late!" He looked down and saw Aria. "Kanzaki?" "Aria is just fine." "Oi, Kanzaki, wait a second!" "Don't just come in like that!" "HEY Kanzaki!" "HEY!" Aria turned around and pointed at him. "Shinji, become my slave!" **Everyone in NERV facefaulted. **'Just as Shirayuki said, I had bad luck related to women today! **


End file.
